There is nothing more innocent and precious than a newborn. There is also nothing more tasteless and vulgar than a dead baby joke. Here are some of my favorite dead baby jokes as well as some obnoxious and tasteless baby pics. If you have one I haven’t mentioned, please share your favorites in the comments! BTW- Did you know that it takes five babies to make just one bottle of baby oil?!
What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion?
You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
What is the difference between a baby and a mars bar?
About 500 calories.
Before I begin making fun of Planet Fitness, one of the worst gyms in existence, I must admit that I did once have a membership there [how else would I know it sucks?] But I have since been freed and go to a new gym [with classes!] All of the following pictures are straight from my phone:
1. Pizza Monday
Welcome to Planet Fatness, where on the first Monday night of each month you’re presented with stacks of greasy pizza boxes as soon as you walk in the door. On the first Tuesday morning, it’s bagels. These little “perks” have got to be two of the most hypocritical, counter-productive selling-points of a “health club” that I’ve ever seen. I mean.. seriously?! With free Pizza Monday’s and Bagel Tuesday’s.. you’re more likely to put on an ass than lose it at Planet Fitness. (more…)